#1 打磨一个小故事

Don’t: 试图在一篇文书中描述多个主题。
Do: 每篇文书都应该专注探讨一个主题。

深度 > 广度

深入探讨一个主题，你需要的只是一个小故事、一次经历。

以一个小故事、一次经历为核心，去呈现：

• 👉清晰且简洁的故事背景
• 👉遭遇的冲突或障碍
• 👉你的角色 (Leader, Problem Solver, Communicator, etc.)
• 👉你做了什么
• 👉你学到什么

#2 展示成长

原因1: UC招生官非常看重申请人是否具备成长心态 (Growth Mindset)。能够从单一事件中进行反思，并在个人或智力方面获得成长，这对UC来说尤为重要。

原因2: UC招生官遗憾地表示，多数的UC文书都没能展示成长。避免大篇幅地赘述事件经过、新闻、历史、名言、常识等，更多专注于你的个人成长、你的提升、你的转变。大胆地用”I”开始你的句子。

#3 展示求知欲

求知欲，意味着对学习的热爱。然而，在文书中使用“Intellectual Curiosity”这个词，并不能展示求知欲。可以思考：

• 👉对该学科的初印象 (Can serve as a hook)
• 👉为什么热爱该学科
• 👉描述具体的学习经历
• 👉分享你所投入的时间
• 👉你是如何应用这些知识

通过详细的描述和具体的例子来展示求知欲，能让UC文书更加生动和有说服力。

#4 分段

一大段文字 = 读起来很累

分段很基本，易读性很重要。

具体做法：

• 👉将长段落分成几个短段落，每个段落表达一个主要观点。
• 👉使用对话来增加互动性和趣味性，让故事更生动。
• 👉在合适的地方使用空行，给读者提供视觉上的休息。

#5 善用冒号、破折号和句式变化

使用得当，会让你的作文看起来更有水平，像个优秀的写作者。

• 冒号 (引出说明或列表)：The fact is simple: I failed.
• 破折号 (强调重要信息或补充说明)：The key to success—perseverance—is a principle I always follow.
• 分号 (连接相关但独立的句子)：I enjoy learning new things; it makes me feel fulfilled.
• 反问句 (引发思考)：Isn’t it exciting to explore new possibilities?
• 对话 (增加互动性和真实感)：She asked, ‘Are you ready?’ I nodded, ‘Absolutely.’

#6 简洁！去除冗余

90%的学生都会遇到冗于的问题，简洁十分重要。每一句话和每一个单词都必须为你的故事增值。如果没有增值，那就删掉它！

检查冗余：

• 👉仔细阅读你的文书，找出重复的单词和句子，使用同义词或重构句子。
• 👉删除任何没有实际意义或不增加价值的部分。
• 👉每个句子都应直接支持你的主要观点或故事，避免偏离主题。

原文：I volunteered at the animal shelter every weekend. I loved working with the animals and found the experience to be very rewarding. By spending time with the animals and helping to take care of them, I learned a lot about responsibility and compassion. This experience helped me realize that I want to pursue a career in veterinary medicine. (底线部分为冗余)

修改：Volunteering at the animal shelter every weekend was rewarding. Working with the animals taught me responsibility and compassion, leading me to pursue a career in veterinary medicine.

#7 避免负面语气

积极色彩很重要。

负面语气例子1：Working on the group project was frustrating because some team members didn’t contribute equally. Despite my efforts to coordinate and motivate everyone, it was challenging to get the work done. (底线部分为应该避免的负面语气)

修改：Working on the group project taught me valuable leadership skills. I learned how to effectively coordinate and motivate team members, ensuring we completed the project successfully despite challenges.

负面语气例子2：Volunteering at the community center was often chaotic and disorganized. Sometimes, it felt like I was the only one taking things seriously, which was disappointing. (底线部分为应该避免的负面语气)

修改：Volunteering at the community center taught me adaptability and the importance of staying organized. I took initiative to help bring structure to our activities, making the experience rewarding and impactful.

Tip 8 避免模糊语言

我们直接看示例。示例都很简单，重点在于传达模糊到底是什么样子。

模糊1： I learned many different things from my volunteer work.

改进： From my volunteer work, I learned about community engagement, time management, and the importance of empathy in helping those in need.

模糊2： My trip abroad taught me many different cultural perspectives.

改进： During my trip abroad, I gained insights into the local customs, language nuances, and historical context of the culture, all of which broadened my worldview.

# 9 使用过渡词

过度词确保文书的流畅性，一个句子自然地连接到下一个句子。

# 10 回答文书题目

回答文书题目，看起来似乎是常识，但很多申请人没有做到。怎么确保自己回答到文书题目？最简单的方法：前往UC官网，回答的每个文书题目底下的问题。(UC Transfer PIQs